


Memories of past darkness

by strawberriesANDchocolates



Category: TharnType the Series (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Crying, Established Relationship, Love, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Pain, Sad, Tharn will always be there for Type, they are soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 13:27:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22496842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberriesANDchocolates/pseuds/strawberriesANDchocolates
Summary: Type gets some very disturbing news from his Dad who tells him over the phone that his rapist is gonna be released from prison, and Type dosen't wanna worry Tharn. As Type always does he tries to pretend it dosen't hurt him, but in the end, all those feelings will come crashing down, and who will be there to help when he does?
Relationships: Tharn Kirigun/Type (TharnType)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 425





	Memories of past darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Feeling sad from Mew being sick I had to cry and pour out my sad feelings in some way, and so this was what came out of it! I hope you enjoy!  
> Also, I wanted to get this out as quickly as possible, so I didn't really look it through before posting, and English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes.<3

"He's getting out, Type."

  
"Out? What do you mean? Who is getting out of what?"

  
There was silence on the other end before the deeper voice finally spoke again; "He's getting out of prison, son. In a week he will be out and.."

  
A pang of coldness invaded his whole being and he felt everything go dark. It was as if someone had pressed a button and shut him down completely, like a screen going black. 

  
That was how he felt the moment his Dad called him and told him that his rapist, his Dad's former roofer who had taken advantege of him when he had been just elleven years old, was being released, and was gonna walk among them in only a week from now. 

  
"I don't think it's a good idea you come home right now. We don't know what he's like after this and where he's gonna go, and..your Mom and I don't wanna risk you running into him after he's released."

  
Type frowned and came back to the real world when he processed his Dad's words. 

  
"What? I-Dad, we never know what he's gonna do! We never know where he s gonna go! How can I come home again if I can't even do that now, I-"

  
"Type, of course you can come home, just..not right now. I don't think it's a good idea. WE don't think it's a good idea."

  
It was maybe stupid but Type felt like he was being shut out of his own home when he needed it the most. The sad part was that he couldn't even use his home as an escape. Because of this, his safe, comforting home had turned into the reasons for his fear, invaded by a certain man's disgusting tendencies, and it was hard to accept. Was he ever gonna be able to go home? Was he ever gonna be able to take a vacation and relax with his parents and Khom, when he knew that he was walking the same places THAT man had been? He had gone through this before, right after it had happened, his home had no longer felt like a home, more like a prison. With the years that had changed and he had gotten over it, but now? Now it was all coming back.

  
He swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded even though he knew his Dad couldn't see it.

  
"Sure. I understand," he said and tried not to reveal his shaky breaths.

  
After the conversation had ended he no longer felt like himself. Even looking into the mirror and looking at his own face - his dark eyes, his wavy locks, his straight nose - it wasn't the same anymore. There was something in his eyes all the way in the back that was different, and he knew what it was, yet wasn't ready to accept it. 

  
The truth was that he was terrified of..well, everything. The last, the now, the future. How was he gonna continue living like normal knowing that the man who had broken him, poisened him and ruined him, was walking amongst other people, free from judgement and punishment? He deserves more, Type thought. More suffering, more pain. It was never enough. If anything, he wished the man nothing but the pain and suffering he deserved for all of his life. 

  
Type had been naive, hadn't he? Thinking that he would always be locked up, away from the outside world which Type was a part of, so he could live free and with no worries. He had thought that once and had clowned himself, because he had been so caught up in the past and had absorbed all of that pain, and had carried it with him every second of the day, which meant he had been filled with anger, hatred and sadness. It was Tharn who had made it all go away. It hadn't been easy, but Tharn was the only one who could touch him like that. By his touches and his very insisting love, he had chased away all bad.

  
Was it all gonna come back? Was all the good, all the light and all the happiness Tharn had given him, gonna fade away like it hadn't been there at all? This was probably his biggest fear.

Type decided to pretend as if nothing had happened, and that he was fine. He technically knew he couldn't keep this up, because Tharn was very attentive to him and knew him better than Type knew himself, which meant that sooner or later he would see something was wrong, and was gonna ask, and not stop bugging him until he told him. The reason why he chose to do this was because he wasn't ready to talk about it. Just like revealing his dark past to Tharn back when they were fighting and going fourth and back like a pair of school kids, it was hard and took time to do, but he had done it because he trusted Tharn. He still did, nothing had changed that, but he still needed time, and he wasn't ready to utter the words and speak into reality, trying to keep it as much of an imagination as possible, even though his choked throat was telling him the opposite.

  
Of course Tharn noticed something was wrong, Type was stupid to think anything else. Type was spacing out sometimes, and he was more quiet than usual. These little signs Tharn noticed immediately and asked Type about it, but he couldn't tell him, so he just said he was worried about an assignment and brushed it off. Type wasn't one to lie and keep secrets, in fact he was the one who was always loud and honest with his boyfriend, yet right now was different because this was a piece of him that he had actually forgotten, put away as it had been lit up by the light Tharn had brought into his life.

  
Now the news of his rapist getting out of jail was trying to take away that light and replace it with the darkness he knew way too well, and didn't want to get back to. 

"No...stop..please.." 

  
Tharn slowly woke up from his slumber as a familiar voice sneaked its way into his mind, and something about it told him there was something very very wrong.

  
When he opened his eyes everything was hazy, and he had to scratch them to get a clear picture of what was around him. He was in their shared condo, laying in his usual spot in the bed, and remembered that they had gone to sleep, his arms wrapped around his boyfriend as he did every night. Since it was dark he had to assume it was still night, or maybe early morning.  
It was when he felt the bed move underneath his body that he turned his gaze and found Type thrashing. He was pulling at the sheets, and he was sure that his cheeks were stained with wet tears still coming like tiny waterfalls. 

  
He knew that lost expression and the desperate tone in his voice begging for help; Type was having a nightmare.

  
Immediately a rush of fear ran through him and he sat up in the bed and carefully touched Type shoulder. "Type? Wake up, you're having a nightmare." 

  
He tried to be gentle since he didn't want to scare Type in the midst of a nightmare taking over his mind, however it was terrible to see him like this, so heartbroken, so terrified that his hands even in his sleep were trying to find something warm and safe to hold onto. Every time Tharn's heart turned into tiny little pieces, and he wanted to do everything he could to make those tears go away and instead see that signature smile he knew light up his face. To make that happen he had to wake him up, and his calmer tone didn't do the trick.

  
"Type! Wake up! Please.." He begged and felt his own eyes water. It was stupid because it wasn't even him having a nightmare, and yet here he was, crying as if he was the one experiencing it. 

  
Not able to watch any longer, he brought the broken man into his embrace and hoped his warmth would seep through the cracks of the nightmare and bring his love back to reality. 

  
"Tharn..Tharn, please...help me.."

  
"Shh..I'm right here, Type. Wake up for me, please? Come on, come back to me," he begged again and calmly stroked Type's back, even though calm was the last thing he was.

  
Another couple of seconds passed and suddenly the frantic crying stopped. He blinked and slowly pulled back from the embrace to see Type's eyes open. He was awake. 

  
"Type! Are you okay? I'm right here, you don't have to be scared," he said and softly stroked his lover's cheeks, taking away the trails of sadness. 

  
Type looked..scared. He was awake but he still looked so scared, not really sure what was going on around him. A moment passed where Tharn just watched and comforted him, before he caught a flash of something he wasn't sure what was in his eyes, and then Type was burying his face in his chest. 

  
"I'm right here, Type.." He wrapped his arms around him again, the difference being that now Type was out of his nightmare, and could hopefully feel his love and support that he tried to squeeze into him, hoping he could make the fear go away.

  
"I don't know what to do.."

  
Type's shaky words caused Tharn to frown in confusion. 

  
"Type?"

Type had his eyes closed and his face buried in his boyfriend's chest, and yet he could still feel the tears pushing and pushing, and he hated it. Why couldn't he just stop crying? He was acting like such a baby. 

  
"It's coming back..and I can't do anything about it.."

  
He couldn't recognize his own voice when he said those words, unable to think it was truly him saying them, even though it was. He had tried so damn hard to keep everything going as normal. To pretend that nothing was wrong. But wasn't that also unfair to Tharn? He was lying to him and keeping secrets, and he knew that he couldn't continue this. It was breaking him up inside more and more, tearing him to pieces the longer he didn't say what he needed to say. As much as he didn't want to, he had to realise this was happening. He had to remove his walls for Tharn once more to reveal what had been bothering him the last week.

  
"What do you mean?" He heard Tharn ask him carefully. From his little hiding spot he could feel the rumbles of every word in his chest.

  
"He's out of jail a-and I can't do anything about it, Tharn..that bastard is out.."

  
The nightmare had probably been triggered by the fact that Type knew that yesterday, the man who had hurt him so badly had been released.

  
"My Dad called me and told me he was getting out of jail a week ago..he got out yesterday..I hate it..I hate how it makes me feel!"

  
He felt Tharn squeeze him harder. He probably knew what he was talking about now.   
"He even told me to not come home because they were worried something was gonna happen..they..they don't want me to run into him and then.."

  
The kiss to his hair caused a sob to emerge from his throat. It felt like his heart was trying to come up through his throat and make him throw it up. To be honest, he just wanted to throw all of this up. All these feelings that made him feel scared and disgusted and filled with hate.

  
"Type.."

  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but..I just couldn't. I feel so stupid!" Uttering those words he punched Tharn's chest angrily, but as expected, nothing moved. It was like punching stone, and in a way that was good. Tharn was his rock after all, and he needed all the support he could get.

  
"You're not stupid, Type. You should have told me sooner. I could have helped you-"

  
"How!? How could you help me?" Type broke free from his boyfriend's embrace so he could look him in the eye, seeing himself in Tharn's eyes with messy hair, wet eyes and cheeks, all flushed and out of it. "What would it help telling you than just worry you? He's out of jail, and no one can do anything about it! He's walking free right now, and..and it scares the crap out of me. I hate feeling like this. I feel so weak.."

  
"Type." Like the touch of a butterflie's wings, Tharn placed his hands on his cheeks and stroked the skin there. "You know you can trust me and talk to me. I don't have the power to keep him shielded away as he should be, but I can be here to always support you and listen to what you have to say. I don't care if you need to cry or scream or just talk. Whatever it is, you can do it to me."

  
Suddenly filled with guilt, Type turned his gaze down, not able to look Tharn in the eyes anymore. He knew he should have told him from the very beginning, and now he felt bad for not doing that. He should have so Tharn wouldn't have worried all this time.

  
But instead of blaming him, Tharn placed a finger underneath his chin and tilted his head upwards, which forced him to meet Tharn's eyes, and he was met with nothing but pure love and the sweetest smile.

  
"You're not weak, Type. Actually you're the strongest person I know. And it dosen't make you less strong to break down and feel once in a while. That's not bad. Just..trust me. Confide in me..okay? Don't shut me out. I wanna help you."

  
"B-but-"

  
"Don't say that you don't wanna be a burden."

  
Type's cheeks flushed a little. Tharn really could read his mind, because that was EXACTLY what he had been about to say.  
"You're not. You can be really stubborn and annoying, but you know I like that."

  
That made the corners of Type's lips turn upwards in the tiniest smile. Whenever he was sad and breaking down, Tharn knew how to make him feel alive again. 

  
"And I'll give you whatever you need. If you need to scream at me, then you may. If you need to cry, then cry, but do it in my arms and let me comfort you, okay?"

  
Tharn's voice was so soft and caring that Type felt his heart melt and break into a million pieces at the same time, and that was when the tears fought their way back into his eyes. 

  
As soon as Tharn saw he pulled Type into another tight hug and rocked him fourth and back in a calming motion.  
"It's okay..you can cry. I'm here for that. And when you can't cry anymore and wake up tomorrow, I will make you some breakfast, even though my cooking is horrible, and try not to poison you," Tharn said with a smile against Type's hair.

  
Meanwhile Type was sobbing into Tharn's chest and was making his shirt wet, but Tharn didn't seem to mind. Instead he pulled him even closer so all he could feel was Tharn, Tharn, Tharn, and surrounded him with love and comfort. 

  
He didn't know how long he had been crying, but his eyes were getting dry and he felt exhausted to the bone from feeling so much that he honestly just wanted to press a button and make it all disappear. For all this time his boyfriend had held him and rocked him fourth and back, and he still was. 

  
He could always count on Tharn. No matter what he was going through, what he did, what he said, Tharn was always there to help him and keep him standing, and if he couldn't stand, he would help him crawl. 

  
"Tharn?"

  
Fuck, he hated how small his voice sounded.

  
Another kiss to his temple. "Yes?"

  
"Can you sing for me?"

  
Tharn stayed silent for a moment before he felt a nod against him, and then he started singing. It didn't even take him a second to know what song it was; Hold Me Tight, the song Tharn had written to him and sung for him for the very first time in P'Jeed's bar. 

  
The memories came rushing back to him, and pictures of Tharn in that striped shirt smiling at him from stage, all of their friends there, and them walking out at the end of the night while holding hands, fingers entangled, appeard in his mind and healed a little piece of his heart that had been broken.

  
Tharn's soothing voice lulled him to sleep where he finally found peace in the arms of the man he loved.

  
After the song finished, Tharn placed another kiss on Type's hair and continued to stroke it softly. "I love you, Type," he murmured against the locks for only his sleeping soulmate to hear, "I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the pain, but look at the bright side; Forever and ever Type will have his soulmate with him no matter what happens!!


End file.
